i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
