What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
