You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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