Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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