yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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