I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
