To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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