Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize