remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
