Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
