I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
