I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
