I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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