So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
