I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
