I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
