Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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