Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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