I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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