Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
