I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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