Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
