Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
