her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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