I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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