Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
