Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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