every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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