My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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