kristin has been a bad kristin
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
