did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
