He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
