He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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