How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
