Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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