i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
its not stalking. its research.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
