4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
