I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
