discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
