do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
