thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
