a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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