I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
