rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just blew my weed a kiss
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
