My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
