I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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