She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
