It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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