i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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