I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
