is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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